Lately, I have been thinking about revival and rebirth. I can’t think a better metaphor than Phoenix for thinking about such subjects. I am not interested in the actual bird itself of course, but the rebirth. Like the Phoenix, I have burnt myself down to ashes and from those ashes, I gathered my power back. I am writing this post to remind myself that my prior ideas about rebirth were wrong.

At first, I thought that the power of Phoenix was internal. It had the power to reborn again and again intrinsically. Theories of human psychology always mention that intrinsically motivated people deal with soul-crushing situations better. I thought that was the case until my own soul got crashed and the intrinsically motivated me could not renew myself. When you don’t have the will to survive, how can you get up and pick up yourself? Why would you? What is the point?

Then another idea came to me. I might be intrinsically motivated, but I have lost my hope. Maybe, just maybe, hope is the answer. Maybe hope is the fuel that we burn to survive even in the direst situations. That was sound until I found out that hope is too fragile to depend upon. Too fleeting.

I was hopeless, soul-broken and I had no will or energy to do anything. There was no reason for me to survive. Not good. Horrible even. Then as friends, even unexpected friends came and put immense effort to pick up my pieces and stick them in their proper places, I started to realize, the Phoenix doesn’t reborn from its ashes because of itself, but for the belief, hope and effort of others, the society around itself. That’s why the Phoenix came to the sun temple to be burnt to ashes. It seeks its society before its weakest point because it knows that without them the Phoenix will not survive.

As do I. I am glad that I have friends and family that supported me, that cared for me when I was there in my weakest. I am glad that they gave their time and effort to make me feel a tad better at the very least. Today, I feel better, strong even thanks to them. From this day onwards I will knowingly nod when I hear the phrase: “Humans are social animals and can’t survive alone”.